I truly cherish the holiday season and all it represents. This time from Thanksgiving to Epiphany is centered around faith, hope, and love within our home. To help us embrace this special time, I place reminders throughout the house. While there is much debate on when it’s appropriate to start playing Christmas music or how soon to put up the tree, we’ve created a tradition of picking our Christmas tree and unpacking decorations the day after Thanksgiving. It brings me joy to see our children immerse themselves in the magic and wonder of this time—with sparkling lights, our nativity scenes, and other symbols that celebrate the joy of Christ’s Incarnation displayed around us.
Ideally, during the holidays everyone would feel deeply valued; every person would have a place at the table; everyone would experience a sense of belonging. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world, and despite my efforts to nurture that spirit of warmth during the holidays at home, conflicts can arise—family dynamics can be complicated! Still, for us, this season is about holding onto light even amidst darkness.
The holiday season can be a difficult time, particularly for those with strained family relationships or who are coping with loss. There are often numerous expectations to juggle and many missed chances for meaningful connection. It’s easy to romanticize this time of year, hoping that if I set the table perfectly, I’ll finally achieve the bond with my family members that I’ve been yearning for. For many individuals, the holidays can evoke feelings of stress, sadness, anger, and grief. This season brings people face-to-face with their desire for closeness while also confronting them with the reality of their disappointments.
I remember as a child, Advent felt so long. I waited and waited and waited with anxious anticipation for the joy of Christmas morning. I didn’t care so much about the presents as I did about what the presents meant. It was a time when my mother, sister, and I would all sit together, still in our pajamas, and be together. I loved being with them in the quiet of Christmas morning with the colored lights of the tree creating such a warm ambiance. Growing up, I have memories of decorating the tree with my mom. We would pull out the ornament box, sometimes as last minute as Christmas Eve. She would put on a Christmas record, make some egg nog, and we would sort through and hang the ornaments that each had a special significance. These memories will always be with me. In times of conflict or tension with my family members, I hold onto these moments. This is one way I hold on to the light in the darkness.
How do you hold onto light in the darkness?
The virtue of hope, particularly in the context of Advent, is rooted in anticipation of Christ’s arrival. It is a hope that transcends present difficulties and challenges, offering a vision of light and peace. Hope becomes a powerful force for healing and reconciliation in difficult family relationships. Advent encourages us to trust in God’s faithfulness, knowing that even in moments of strife or division, there is the potential for transformation and restoration. The virtue of hope reminds us that no situation is beyond redemption, and that with patience, prayer, and God’s grace, brokenness can give way to healing. In this season, hope calls us to look beyond immediate struggles and believe in the possibility of new beginnings and restored connections, inspired by the promise of Christ’s presence in our lives.
How do you make a home for the holidays?
We have certain traditions that we are establishing as a new growing family. We break out a Little People nativity set, nativity puzzles, and books about Christmas for the kids to look at all season. We have the wiseman travel around the house making their way to the creche and an advent calendar with a star used to count down the days. We have found several local light displays and make an annual trip to walk around with hot chocolate and see the lights shining in the dark. As part of our bedtime prayer, we say a special Christmas prayer to reflect on the presence of Christ as an infant that I would like to pass along:
May the gentleness of the infant Jesus melt your heart, as he has melted mine.
I hope you are able to find light in the darkness, joy in the midst of suffering, and a sense of belonging even when you are feeling alone. Christ came to bring light to the darkness and wrap us all in His loving, tender embrace.