I’m getting pretty used to doubling everything these days, so why not a double blog day? Apparently I was feeling especially inspired at 3:30 this morning. One thing that’s been helping me navigate the challenge of feeding two babies at the same time is listening to the daily homilies on Hallow. As so often happens, the Lord has a way of making each message exactly what I need to hear. I’m so grateful when I can turn to Him and receive His comfort and consolation, especially during these more challenging moments.
The Hallow reflections over the past few days have been especially powerful. Two days in a row, we heard Fr. Dave Pivonka preach on one of my favorite Gospel scenes: the disciples being tossed about in the storm and Peter stepping out onto the water. I love that story because Peter really does walk on water—as long as his eyes remain fixed on Jesus. The moment he shifts his focus to the wind and the waves, fear takes over. It’s such a vivid reminder that peace isn’t found in calm circumstances but in the Lord’s presence.
Then today, on the Feast of the Transfiguration—my favorite feast day—we hear another Gospel that has always spoken deeply to me. Jesus reveals His glory to Peter, James, and John, giving them a glimpse of the Resurrection before leading them toward the Cross. He knows exactly what lies ahead for them, and He gives them precisely what they need to endure the suffering to come. That’s one of the reasons the Church repeats this Gospel before Lent each year: we’re invited to remember the glory that awaits us so we don’t lose heart when the road becomes difficult.
This morning, Fr. Pete’s homily highlighted something that struck me right where I am. He contrasted gratitude with resentment. Peter’s instinct on the mountain was to build tents and stay in that beautiful moment forever. But we aren’t called to cling to consolations or assume they’ll last forever. Instead, we’re called to receive them with gratitude and allow them to strengthen us for the mission ahead.
That distinction between gratitude and resentment has been convicting. Fr. Pete described them as two paths that cannot coincide. I have never thought of it that way… but wow.
There are moments in this season of motherhood when I can easily slip into resentment. In the middle of another middle-of-the-night feeding or while trying to soothe two crying babies at once, I find myself wishing someone would take care of me for a change. I start mentally keeping score of how tired I am or how much I’m giving. Those thoughts never leave me with more peace—they only make the burden feel heavier. But when I intentionally shift toward gratitude, everything changes. Instead of seeing another feeding as one more demand placed on me, I can see it as an opportunity to love these two little souls the Lord has entrusted to me.
Instead of focusing on what I’m lacking, I can thank God that I am able to comfort them, nourish them, and be the one they need right now. The work itself doesn’t become easier, but my heart becomes lighter.
Where do I Focus my Attention?
Just like Peter on the water, where I fix my gaze matters. If I focus only on the waves—the exhaustion, the interrupted sleep, the endless needs—I begin to sink. But if I keep my eyes on Christ and remember that He is present in these ordinary acts of love, He gives me the grace I need for the next moment. And perhaps that’s one of the greatest gifts of this season: the constant invitation to choose gratitude over resentment, trusting that every hidden act of love is preparing me for the glory He has already promised. This is why I teach so many of my patients about mindfulness and recommend Dr. Greg Bottaro’s Book The Mindful Catholic. His book integrates mindfulness-based stress reduction practices that help build internal self-knowledge and the capacity to our shift focus with an awareness of God’s ever-loving presence in our lives – despite what our circumstances might suggest.
So where do you fix your gaze? On the distress, the suffering, the difficulty? Or on the opportunity to let the Lord provide, to build trust in Him, to serve others, and to be an example of faith, trust, and hope to others?
Caveat: this is not to minimize suffering or to suggest that we will not be distressed if we simply pay attention to Christ or pray harder. This is to suggest that He will provide us the grace to endure the challenges and that when we’re in the midst of the distress, we can trust that is not where the story ends.
Hope does not disappoint.